Dispensing With Old Ghosts

Some of you reading this post knew me in high school. I worked really, really hard at math, but I was never any good at it. As many of my friends will attest, it just isn't something I "get."

Anyway, when I was younger, I was tracked into the "advanced" math courses, along with all of the other courses. By the time I was in 9th grade, it was apparent that I should not have been bumped up into those AP math classes. So, along comes my senior year of high school and, I'm not sure why, I took calculus along with all my friends. I wasn't a requirement for college or even high school graduation, but for some strange reason, I decided to take calculus.

I struggled. I had a tutor that I met with weekly (God Bless Mrs. Westmoreland.) I had generous friends who tutored me (thanks Fig! thanks Lori!) and I studied. A lot. But not much of it made sense to me. And, sadly, after a semester of "just getting by" on the exams, I actually failed the final.

That's my sad, horrible truth.

Now, 22 years later, I have to take Calculus as a pre-requisite for business school, and that scared the hell out of me. I shook when I thought about it. I still remember Mrs. Dubay, my old calc teacher, and she scared me.

But, if I want to get an MBA, I have to go straight through this point and ace it. I need an 80 in the class to be able to continue with the MBA program.

So, I hired a tutor, in preparation. (God bless Arlene!) I also began the class with the attitude that, as an older student, I have some advantages that I did not as an 18-year old. I know how to study, how the world works, and that if I try hard enough, I CAN learn this stuff.

Here is the litany of scary things that haunt me: logarithms, limits, growth rates, differentiation, and integrals. Any one of these items, in and of themselves, is scary, right?

The midterm (our only exam besides the final) was Monday. In preparation, I must have studied 8 to 10 hours reviewing the material and doing extra practice problems. I walked out of the exam sure I'd failed it, or at the least, gotten a 50 or 60 if he gave partial credit for how we worked the problems.

He handed us back our exams today.

The top of the exam said 92!

I am not joking: I started shaking. Was that right? The relief was enormous!

And with the 15-point curve, I now have an official "107" as my midterm grade. ( I actually got the third-highest score in the class, if I might brag for a moment...)

Good-bye scary Mrs. Dubay.

Good-bye scary Calculus Ghost of My Past.

A weight of 22 years has lifed.